This is a deadly question to ask someone you’re dating. Whatever he says will be wrong. If he’s had fewer than you think is appropriate, you’ll think he’s inexperienced. If he’s had more — perhaps way more — than you think is acceptable, you’ll think he’s a slut.And what if he asks you? Same problem. There is no way to answer this early in the relationship without some judgment being made, until you’ve been together for a while and can share this information without fear of judgment.

At a party yesterday, a midlife, never-married woman shared she’d had 60 lovers. Some of the rest of us couldn’t remember the count, as some were long ago in college. She had made a list.

Does it matter how many notches are on your bedpost? People assume that the more lovers you’ve had, the more experienced you are at various ways to please your partner. What if you had only one or two but learned a lot?

My suggestion: Don’t ask, don’t tell. If your date asks you, skirt around it with something like, “Enough to know how to make my partner happy.” That could apply even if there was only one.

What do you think of this question? How have you responded when asked? And if you’ve been the one asking, what did you think when you heard his number?

1. Sex could be the ultimate de-stresser
New research shows that, “Penetrative sex is associated with better psychological functions,” according to psychologist Dr Stuart Brody. In one study,”Men and women who had intercourse had a better stress response,” says Dr Brody, who accounted for dozens of variables, including how satisfied the subjects were in their relationships.

Guess that athlete ritual of abstinence before a big game is hogwash. (Could this be the answer for SA’s sporting heroes?) But before you hop into the sack to prepare for a big meeting, know this: least-stressed subjects had penetrative sex and abstained from other sexual activity, including masturbation and oral sex. There’s always a catch, isn’t there?

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My wife and I are swingers and have been using the married personals section on various dating sites for 2 years now. What I want to do is share with you what we have learned thus far. When you arrange sexual encounters with married people, whether you are married or not, these tips will help make your experience go smoothly.

Use Anonymity When Meeting Cheaters If the man or women you intend to meet is going to be cheating ensure that you do not give away any details about yourself. Let us say you meet a woman who intends to cheat on her husband. The last thing you want is an angry husband beating down your door.

You should agree to meet at a location where you are not known and in a public place for drinks. Then go back to a motel or hotel room. Do not ever give away your last name, where you work (or what you do for a living), and be careful not to leave your wallet or purse lying around where your ID might be available for prying eyes.

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